Bridging the Gap
Between Becoming the Horseman You Want To Be and Feeling Safe as the Horseman You Are
In a lesson last week, I noticed one of my students looking particularly stiff in her warm up on her horse. As she transitioned from walk to halt, I brought her awareness to parts of her body that she could breathe into to soften. Whenever she put her leg on to ask her mare to go forward, she would balk, hollow her back, and rush backwards. I suggested that my student prepare more for the transition, through her breath and intention, and then ask first with the seat, then follow up with whatever secondary aids might be necessary to clarify, like voice, legs, and whip. Some transitions were much better when she allowed her body to flow, but I could feel a sense of frustration and stuckness in her body that offended the mare, causing her to brace and pin her ears periodically.
I asked my student what her mare was reacting to from her perspective. She told me how badly she wanted to be able to just get on and flow at the walk, and for her horse to give her the time she needed for her body to warm up. She didn’t want her mare to have an explosive to response to her own stiffness. She felt it would be entirely reasonable to ask the horse to go softly forward in response to her leg, regardless of what the rest of her body was doing. My student also expressed a strong yearning to continue improving her riding— she wanted to learn a new, more classical way of riding. She wanted to replace her old bad habits, such as overusing the leg and failing to guide with the seat, with better, more sophisticated riding. But the harder she tried, the more stuck in her head she became, and the stiffer her body became, and the more her mare would reject her aids.
“So, what I’m hearing you say is that you want to learn to ride more correctly from a classical perspective, AND you want to feel safe riding as the rider you are today”.
“Yes, that’s a good way to put it.”
We were out of time and left that thought for her to stew on. As I drove to my next stop, I sat with this and realized this is a struggle so many of us have.
It’s a pattern that looks something like:
We have a goal of how we want to ride. How we want to be. How we want our horse to be with us. An image of harmony.
We think really hard about how to do that when we go to work.
We draw some blanks, or begin to hold our breath as we think about where to begin.
When the horse says no, or “not quite”, we feel like we’re failing.
We begin to feel like this isn’t fun anymore.
We recall times when we knew less and had more fun. We long for a time when we could just show up and have fun with the horses without so much judgement.
We try to channel that effortlessness and go back to riding how we’ve always ridden, with a horse that has since rightfully learned to give feedback. To dialogue with you.
The horse says “this way of riding doesn’t work for me anymore”
We feel defeated, like we can’t do anything right. Especially when the trainer is there watching us, telling us exactly what to do and when and how to do it, but we just can’t seem to get our body to flow with the horse.
Sometimes we blame the horse and feel upset with them. Sometimes we blame ourselves and feel woefully incompetent and inadequate.
I’ve seen this so many times. So let’s bridge the gap and see how to create a more useful process.
What is classical riding?
To me, it’s genuine dialogue between horse and rider.
The rider gets on and listens to the horse. How are you feeling today? What would you like to do? What would you like my help with? How can I help you?
The horse answers through movement, feelings, and energy.
The rider feels into that, finding an understanding through the body and the heart. Some of us more intellectual riders can put it into language and describe what’s at play biomechanically. But that’s not what matters to the horse.
It’s our ability to listen through feeling.
So we are there feeling the horse. What they want to do, how they’re moving, what’s easy and what’s hard.
Right there, perhaps there’s something we can offer the horse—
We can adapt our body (posture, movement, breathing, energy, intension, mindset, etc). We give out answer— our offer, and then listen to the horse’s response.
We observe how what we’ve done affects the horse. How does what we’ve offered make them feel?
Then, we either adapt if it wasn’t the answer we were looking for or didn’t have the effect we wanted, or we go yes! That is exactly what I had in mind! We praise, we validate, we let go and let rest.
Then we begin the cycle again. Classical riding is the horse and the rider giving each other heartfelt constructive feedback and listening.
So, if you’re stuck in your head trying to do things right and your horse isn’t responding well, try something else.
Classical riding is the willingness
to change ourselves to support the horse.
And it may be that we can’t make the complete change all at once. It’s more often a game of warmer- colder. That’s how horse training works, and that’s how the horses teach us.
So if you’re stuck between the rider that you want to become and the rider you are, what change can you try on at this moment? Stay curious, and see what your horse thinks. Enjoy the journey and thank your horse for their participation.
